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Saturday, August 4, 2012

Ringo VS The Leaf Blower

Our dog Ringo has alot of bad habits...like chewing anything left outside...with no discrimination to the owner, such as shoes for instance!
We had friends staying with us and after a day at the creek they left their shoes out on the porch to dry- Enter the Dog; 

Yes, I was horrified and furious!
Luckily, our guests were very gracious about it, so we didn't have to kill the dog :) But, I will admit...there have been many a time I was down for it!

Every once in awhile Ringo does something so funny and cute we remember why we put up with the bad behavior...
This time we caught it on tape!





Here's the link in case the video doesn't play...http://youtu.be/OkPZYyjXSl8

What does your dog do???

SuzyQ

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Never Fails.....When You Realize Your Life Really Is An Episode Of Seinfeld

You know those moments you have when that phrase "Never fails..." is the first thing outta your mouth?



That moment- (ladies)... when you are mid-stream on the toilet and glance to see their is NO TOILET PAPER! (in my case, this specifically is caused by living in a house where YOU are the ONLY women, and men/boys are incapable of replacing the empty roll)....................................NEVER FAILS

That moment...when you start to drop your drive-thru drink and your hand goes into "Terminator Hold Mode" thinking you can prevent this catastrophie, but you actually crush the cup and it EXPLODES in your face/shirt/lap!!..................................NEVER FAILS

That moment...when you go into your OB/GYN appt (third trimester) and realize you forgot to bring your cup of morning pee with you *palm to forehead*...BUT the nurse says "No problem, you can use our bathroom"....................You pee..........in the cup...........The cup catches............. on the edge of the toilet seat and you dump it ALL OVER your britches (yes, britches is a real word) and have to spend a half hour in the bathroom trying to dry your pants...all the while a nurse is beating on the door thinking you have passed out.................................NEVER FAILS

That moment...when you have been dabbing at the stream coming from the corner of your eye with the Kleenex (extra soft with lotion) because today is peek season for pine pollen and your car matches Shrek! The FedEx guy comes in with a package and you wonder why he acted SO awkward....???....so you go check the mirror....and see a square of one-ply Kleenex stuck to the SIDE OF YOUR FACE...................................NEVER FAILS

That moment...when you have just finished riding a wooden roller-coaster and every part of your body is NUMB!......you reach to check your earrings...but something more important grabs your attention....you have regained feeling in your upper body and now (in a crowd of people, AND wearing a white shirt) realize that your FRONT-HOOK bra was apparently jiggled loose during the ride because the cups are under your ARMS!!.....................................NEVER FAILS....oh! AND...you lost an earring.....yup :)

I don't know about the freak in the front seat...but poor choice of clothing for you ladies in the back there!  If she doesn't have black eyes she be saying "Where is that breeze coming from....?....OHHHHHH"


That moment...when you were14 (you know...that age when the tom-boy in you starts to take a second seat to... "boys"!) and the neighbor boy down the road-  whom you have climbed trees, played ball and rode bikes with- shows up for a visit while you are outside (can't hide now)  and you have been caught in jean shorts so short that if Dad comes home and sees you in them they won't find your body....but you are stuck!, so you stay outside...climbing on the swing-set and showing off some of those mad skills...cause really...your almost a gymnast..right?...Then, the unimaginable happens...... the crotch of your Daisy Dukes busts leaving you with what is now the shortest miniskirt in HISTORY! 
Where's really tall grass when you need it????

You have no choice but to stand still..... hoping...PRAYING that he doesn't notice, leaves quickly, AND that your Dad does not come home!.............................NEVER FAILS...........since the first two didn't happen you are forced to make an excuse and awkwardly walk backwards to the house BEFORE the third thing happens.....DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!

That moment...when you decide to skip school with your boyfriend on the rainiest day of the year and you go to your Great-Grandma's house cause she isn't home and you CAN'T get caught...right?
So....when you go to leave your boyfriend "thinks" instead of backing up and leaving tire marks he will just follow the circle drive...only, IT WASN'T A CIRCLE DRIVE!!!! IT WAS PART OF THE YARD!!!! and now his car is stuck up to the hubcaps! You call a friend in desperation to see if he can pull you out before Grandma get home and before you're late getting back to school..... but that didn't work...nope....they really just succeeded in making more deep ruts in your Grandmothers yard!...............NEVER FAILS......Yes,....I had to call my Dad :(        My back-side hurts just typing this.

***Public Service Notice*** 
DO. NOT. SKIP. SCHOOL!!!


It's a Booger County Life...
SuzyQ





Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Evolution Is BANANAS!!!!



Last night I picked up my youngest two from their grandparents and we headed home.

As usual we got in a deep discussion. That is...me and Mr Thomas did...13 remember?...very inquisitive age...with harder questions!

This time we were more or less re-hashing a subject that NONE of my family believes in.....Evolution.
Mr Thomas was trying to understand why the scientists think such things and of course my forever answer was that if we evolved from apes/monkey...whatever!, then why is there still apes?  Riddle me that.....
Casey laughed as usual and I noticed it had been strangely quiet there in the back seat. Aaaand then...

Mr Riley:  " Hey Bob, I just evolved yesterday!....but I'm still on bananas!!!"

8yr old humor at it finest!!!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA :)



It's a Booger County Life....

SuzyQ

Friday, March 23, 2012

7 Things Bout Lil 'Ole Me

Ducky, at batcrapcrazy picked me as one of her 7 blogs to participate in this, so "Thank You Ducky!"
I guess I'm suppose to tell you 7 things about me you never knew....since I haven't been blogging long there's a lot you don't know about me...but I'll pick some whoppers for ya. Gotta keep it interesting....yes?

No. 1
I LOVE TWILIGHT!....no judging.....
I always liked the movies (the first two) but never quite got the craziness I'd see in women my age who went nuts over it...standing in line...and the Facebook posts....brother!
Then the 3rd movie came out, I watched it and I decided to buy the Breaking Dawn book to find out the ending.  I LOVE a good story (plus I have been intrigued by werewolves and vampires since I was in middle school!)  I ended up so excited reading that book I couldn't put it down!....I read it in a day and a half!....it's like 700 pages....you do the math! And yes, the Part 1 movie was awesome but I now will probably be one of those crazy people standing in line to see Part 2 at the theater! and I can't wait!!!!

No. 2
When using buttons like ATM's or even the soda fountain at the gas station I use my knuckles to press the buttons....cause I'm a bit of a germ-a-phobe.  Using the pump is an unavoidable full-on hand grab so I keep wipes in my car to remove the yuckies :)

No. 3
Miniature donuts- like the chocolate ones!, are just better if you shove the whole thing in your mouth and eat it like a Neandrathal....if they really were such things!......??...Ok,...... let's go with "starving, hormonal, middle aged woman needing a chocolate high"!......"Get-R-Done"!!!....yeehaw!!!

No. 4
I alone have the PERFECT cure for hiccups....message me if you are interested.
However, I must confess that I cannot PREVENT the inevitable hiccup after your first sip of soda from a drive-thru.....you must except that somethings are just gonna happen, like it or not.

No. 5
I still hold a 22yr grudge against a guy who stole my strawberries- (no that's not a metaphor) that I had made in art class my senior year for my "clay" project. I made the basket, the handle and filled it with strawberries that I had hand-made so that it looked just like fresh basket of newly picked strawberries (putting the ones that fired well on top covering the not-so-fired-well ones). He stole the prettiest ones of course. I haven't seen him since graduation and when I do I will remind him I want my strawberries BACK!


No. 6
My very first driving experience was during hay season when I was in the fourth grade. My Dad needed to get the hay in before daylight (back when everyone still used square bales) and only had the help of one neighbor so he needed a driver.  He sat me behind the wheel of a GINORMOUS flat bed truck(standard), put it in gear, let off the clutch while standing on the running-board and said "Just drive in circles and keep the hay bales on your left and you be fine" then he jumped down off the truck and went to work.
I can drive in AWESOME circles now....and would LOVE to make a few rounds at Talhadega!

Which brings me to No. 7....
My husband LOVES NASCAR....and for the most part I do too. BUT, watching it on T.V. for HOURS and HOURS drives me CRAZY!!! Mostly because of the stupid cautions....that happen like every other lap....Come On!!  If I'm gonna watch it on T.V. then I just want to watch the singing of the National Anthem the prayer and the start, then not come back to it until they are down to like... 10 laps to go!
I have NASCAR Impatience!

I have to say I don't have a whole lot of time to "follow" very many blogs, I'm more of a Blog Puddle Jumper. I only have  a couple of blogs I Faithfully Follow and I hated to pick from the rest because they are about even but I came up with 3 more......I know, I know....I'm breaking the rule not picking 7....cut me some slack!

Ducky at batcrapcrazy
Che at indieberries
Dannette at fibrohaven
George at bugsofboogercounty
Kristen at thekircorner

It's a Booger County Life,
SuzyQ

Friday, March 16, 2012

My Clothes Were On Backwards And I Almost Put Dish-soap In My Drink



Yeah....it's been that kindda week for me *sigh*

Let's start with this morning....

Mr. Thomas has been home sick since yesterday ( tummy bug...I hope, and NOT the flu ), so I'm busy getting ready for work and making arraignments for my Mother to come take care of him. Also, I make sure to take my new medication the Dr. switched me too a few days ago with a slow and calculated mental picture of seeing the pill and remembering "the swallow".
This is due to the fact that I could not remember if I took it yesterday and was afraid to take another- just in case, soooooooo, yesterday was fun....NOT!
Anyway....I get to work sit down and notice my shirt feel funny...I rub the neckline...feels funnier...I pull out the neck and look...YEP! My shirt is on BACKWARDS!!!
A flush, hot feeling whooshed over me as I wondered whether or not the girls at the gas station had noticed that???
OH WELL.....can't do nutt'n 'bout it now!!!

Earlier in the week I had went to the sink to dump out my drink so I could re-fill with fresh ice and more **eh-hum* Dew.........shhhhh!, and I grabbed the dish-soap bottle and was about to squirt it into my cup!!! WHAT THE.....????? Who am I and what did you do with the old me? Oh, wait....I AM the OLD me........*sigh*
Getting old BITES!

I feel better about these things when I think of the stuff that others do............like my father-in-law......:)
Let's call him Pa "B"
So the other day my hubby gets a call from his dad, Pa "B". He proceeds to tell him his oopsies for the day.

Pa "B" was unloading wood from his truck. He was standing on the tail-gate and tossing the sticks of wood off onto the pile when he grabbed a cedar log (that had tiny stubs from the limbs still on it) and gave it a good toss. I guess one of the limb stobbs caught his pant leg!, and with the effort he put into it nearly thrust himself off the truck on the pile!...but, luckily...he let go and caught himself before the epic fall.

My husband was crying he was laughing so hard!  Then he kept laughing...
Apparently Pa "B" had decided to make a blackberry cobbler for Ma "B" (my hubby's mom, of course).
He wanted to be very careful the cobbler didn't bubble over in her NEW stove so he had carefully laid down plenty of tin-foil on the bottom to protect it. Well.....he had made the cobbler in one of those disposable aluminum foil pans...and....when he went to pull it out of the oven......... the whole thing buckled and collapsed!...dumping blackberry juice all over the door and glass!!!! KERSPLAT!
Hey....at least he cooks!...right?


What have you done lately?

SuzyQ

The Silence You See Is Screaming Inside Of Me (for the Fibromyalgia sufferer, family and friends)

Sorry....it's not going to be a funny one today....

Today I just need to vent!!!! But!.....if you know anyone who suffers from Fibromyalgia, whether it is a friend, family, or even a co-worker I would ask that you continue reading.

Anyone who suffers from ANY silent illness or disease will tell you that society, your peers, co-workers and yes, sometimes your even your family can cause you the worst kind of pain-  Not being able to understand.

Just because I don't look sick does not mean I feel fine...or even ok.
There are probably dozens of ways to compare "what you see may not be what you get"  but think of it like the duck on the water. Above the water the duck appears to glide smoothly with little effort, but underneath the feet are paddling like crazy.
If I told you I'm an 8 would you believe me?


Some days you look good...make-up went on well...hair...eh- not too bad...and your clothes are your most comfortable outfit. This is one of the "good days"...Duck on top of the water to everybody else.
What everyone doesn't know is that your pain level is still top of the chart and your eating meds like M&Ms. Your body feels like it been thru a mid-evil torture chamber and parts are still stuck in them, you don't concentrate well and keep get off task, and you just feel like going home to never be seen again!...this is the feet paddling like crazy part. And this was a good day remember?

People don't understand why you don't come to all your kids basketball games....
If you sat on a flat metal piece of steel without moving scrunched up and hunched over (sweating, I might add) every second feeling like you couldn't take the pain and would just jump up and run away-but you can't, and lets say you had to do this for 12 hrs....... What do you think would hurt? Your butt? Yes. Your back? Yes. Your legs? Yes. Your neck? Yes.
But it's only a 30 min to an hour ball-game you say? Well, for me, that pain that takes a normal person hours to start feeling I feel 2 minutes after sittting down. Then I suffer thru the rest of it because of good 'ole peer pressure.
Yes, I could get up and walk a minute and then sit back down, but that raises eyebrows too....what is she on?
Yes I could bring my own folding chair....I'm 39....I don't want to act like 79.  Oh, did you factor in it was a work day for me and I already just want to kill myself? Nope, didn't think so.
Oh, but you have an office job! ???? Really????? That's actually just as bad as a physically demanding job because you muscles don't get any exercise.
You hurt because you exercise and you hurt because you don't exercise...it's a win, win!!!

There's a lock-in at school and they wonder why you need to leave by 9:30 preferably, but will settle for 10:30 if need be.
What?, do you need to take your medicine or something?....actually, YES, I do!
And, if I don't take it the same time every night it really screws me up. Also, my body is so used to taking the medicine that if I'm up doing something late like that I start to have excruciating pain just walking.
If I get to that point, being PC just isn't on my list and neither is leaving you stranded. I tell my husband I need to leave and God Love Him, he get's me outta there!!!

You see me walk in to work (late) and you think I'm just slow or lazy.....but you don't know how much effort it takes to get ready EVERYDAY....
Some compare morning pain to how sore you are the day after having the flu. That's a good comparison but I like to compare it to the next morning after some really long physical activity that you had never done like....I dunno....dig a train tunnel through a mountain with your bare hands, scooping up the dirt pile'n it up and pushing it out in a wheel-barrow! I know, it sounds extreme...but how do you explain all over pain, soreness, stiffness, burning and muscle tension that you have from doing NOTHING!  Heaven forbid you DO something that makes it worse...like clean the house, paint a wall or give the dog a bath.

If you miss a day of work people ask you if you feel better the next day....
The standard acceptable answer is "Yes, or Much better". :)
What you really want to say is "No, not really, I was just better at forcing myself to get ready and get in the car today, but thanks for asking":)
That doesn't get a good reaction...I've actually tried it....people think you're being your usual funny self.

Most people have their own problems so they don't want to hear yours, and that's perfectly understandable. I certainly do not think I am the only one who has pain or suffers a daily struggle of some sorts.

I realize it could be worse and I'm thankful that it is not. My best friend has MS. My Dad passed away at 56. I lost a dear friend to cancer. I have friend with diabetes. We have friends who have lost children in a car crash. Our niece's baby girl lived for only hours before she went to be with Jesus.
So, yes, things could be worse and I try to keep that in mind. But, sometimes you just get TIRED.

Tired of all the pain.  Tired of the stress. Tired of telling your kids "Not today guys, maybe tomorrow". Tired of your husband and kids doing pretty much ALL the house work. Tired of what people think. Tired of explaining. Tired of lie'n...cause that's what it really is when you say "I'm fine", it's a lie....to yourself! 
A silence inside of you screaming....and you muffle it.
I am an 8.
I don't care if you believe me!
**pats self on back**


If you want to learn more about Fibromyalgia or if you need support try one of these sites.
http://www.fibrohaven.com/
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Fibromyalgia-Awareness/97374519828
http://www.facebook.com/Fibro360

If you read this far, God Bless You! and thanks for listening to me vent :)

SuzyQ



.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

A Square really is a Circle!

Small towns have squares:  at least in Missouri they do.
Not all squares all equal:  most allow side by side traffic and are designated ONE-WAY (kinda like a round-a-bout).This is how Booger County's square is...........ONE-WAY!!!
Some go for the really challenging and are made for 2-way (opposite direction) traffic...it is my opinion that these designers should be SHOT!!!

I have had more "near death experiences" on our square here in town than in all other traffic situations in my LIFE!  People are just plain STUPID!  A square is not that complicated!!....it's a circle people...round and round you go..... :/

You can bet during any holiday you are gonna see out-of-towners going the wrong way or coming to a complete stop, and putting on their blinker to continue on around....hello......?  Did you see a stop sign? NO you DID NOT! GoooooooooOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Oh yeah, and it tis DE-LIGHT-FUL when ever we have been graced by the presence of a new highway patrol officer to our little backwoods hill-town :) YES....

It always starts out the same.....Everybody getting tickets for not putting there blinker on when using the square...(which actually I think is really what you are suppose to do) ??? but, when the cops and county deputies don't even use their blinkers.....you're just poke-n a sleep'n bear...ya know?

TRUE STORY:  My sister actually called one of them on it! I'm sure she wasn't the first, but she was the first person I knew of and of course it HAD TO BE HER!
When she was tell'n me about it all I could think was....if that had been me!?! I'd have a ticket or be jailed!!
I guess she told him, rather plainly I might add, that she wasn't paying no dang ticket unless he was gonna give one to the police chief, his officers and the sheriff and his deputies cause they all do it...Including the other highway patrol officers!, who have been here long enough to know.... that's just how we do it!!!!
"Your sittin in the wrong place if you want to write tickets cause you're just gonna tick these people off and they are gonna run you outta town on a rail like they did in the old days!!!"
Don't mess with Booger County Girls!!!!  BooYah
He then decided he actually pulled her over for seat-belt ticket...hmmmm.....
"You go ahead and write it but I'm not pay'n it!" ....again...I would be in jail........her?....nope!
Uhhhhhh..........


You know, you just gotta wonder if the highway patrols use this as a "hazing" of sorts for the "new guy".
I can almost here the conversation.....
Experienced officers:  "We've been around here forever and these people have really ran us over about the whole "not using their blinkers on the square" thing, what we really need is young blood in here to set these people straight!" "Don't let'em get away with it....even the old people...let'em know we mean business man!"
Newbie:  "Yes sir! You can count on me to improve the driving in this town...I'm on it!"
............................THREE MONTHS LATER.....................................
Newbie:  "Uh, sirs? I can't take it anymore....I've had everyone- even little old ladies threaten to have my badge over the square tickets. These people REALLY hate me!!! Now, headquarters has had so many complaints they are threatening to move me to a new area! I don't know what to do????"
Experienced offers:  "Well probably.... stop writing those tickets!  Shoot boy....even we do it!" *bursting out in laughter*
Newbie:  "You mean YOU KNEW this would happen???"
Experienced officers:  "Oh don't get your Kevlar in wad, we've all been there son, you just needed to pay your dues!" "Now go set up out on the main highway before they run you outta this town on a rail!"
:)
.....maybe they do....maybe they don't......we may never know.....
But, for some strange reason they all give up a few months after they start and move on to new territory....and, perty soon you see them going around the square...NOT using their blinker!

Disclaimer***
Of course I am not encouraging behavior to dis-respect your public officials such as law enforcement.
Wrong is wrong and right is right.........then there's that small grey area.......
Just remember.....they aren't perfect either folks! And they do work very hard!!!




Shhhhh........somebunnies sweepy!  aawwhhhh :)


That's life in good 'ole Booger County

SuzyQ